Parent Guidance

Karen Nicholson services for parentsI offer assessments and ongoing short term or long term guidance for parents who have children and or teenagers who are struggling in school, family, and/or relationships and friendships.  I usually meet with parents to assess the situation and recommend parent sessions to implement behavioral strategies if I think that there would be more profound benefit by meeting with just the parents instead of the child.  I provide school consultation services if needed in order to ensure that teachers, school social workers and I work as a team to help the child and or teenager succeed at school and at home.

I prefer to meet with parents in my office, but do virtual therapy sessions using skype and face time if the teenager is out of town.  I also offer phone sessions if necessary.

Parents may need Parent guidance if they are experiencing:

  • Frustration

    • feel like your child is not meeting your expectations
    • children/teens are not talking to you or opening up the way you want them to

  • Home

    • You find yourself not wanting to go home and see your child
    •  losing your temper with your child
    • wondering how to exactly implement behavioral strategies so that they’re effective
    • want to avoid family functions
    • wonder how to talk to your child about your concerns

  • School

    • Your child is struggling in school
      •   test taking
      •  standardized tests
      •  getting in trouble with suspension and/or detention
      •  not listening to the teachers
      •  refusing to go to school
      • You feel overwhelmed with how to deal with the school to make sure you get what you need for your child
        • Your child may need an IEP, 504 plan or some type of accommodations in school, but you are unsure exactly how to go about it, and how to make sure your child doesn’t get labeled.

  • Friendships and relationships

    • Your child has a difficult time making friends
    • No one seems to invite or want play dates with your child
    • Your child hides when he is around new people or in new situations
      • child does not know how to talk to adults or other children
      •  fights often with peers at school or in sports
      • Your embarrassed by your child’s behavior in public

Symptoms to look for in your child:

  • Avoidance

    • Avoids going out with friends and/or spending the night at a friend’s house
    • Avoids studying
    • Avoids school classes, presentations and or group activities
    • Avoids sports or competition
    • Avoids many foods or certain locations
    • Avoids unfamiliar or new situations
    • Avoids making new relationships
    • Stops talking

  • Separation anxiety

    • Clings to parents during drop off at school
    • Cries in separation situations
    • Refuses to go to school
    • Says their “sick” in order to stay home with parent
    • Refuses to go to bed
    • Sleeps with parents ( there are cultural differences and different belief systems regarding this) sensitivity to this issue.
    • Worries about safety of parents and themselves

  • Irritability

    • More irritated with parents than usual
    • Withdrawing into room for long periods of time for most days of the week.
      • Many teenagers go into their rooms and retreat for a couple hours/ day, but not all day, every day
    • More quiet than usual
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Temper tantrums
    • screaming

  • Physiological symptoms

    • Feeling faint
    • Frequent Stomach aches
    • Frequent Headaches
    • Frequent Back aches
    • sweating
    • Nausea
    • Heart racing
    • Difficulty swallowing
    • Shaking
    • Throwing up before special events
    • Difficulty sleeping
    • Agitation
    • Substance use

  • Worries

    • Realistic worries

      • Worries about tests often
      • Worries about school in general often
      • Worries about friendships often
      • Worries about future often
      • Worries about appearance often
      • Worries about performance in sports, school, and relationships often
      • Worries about being judged
        • Worries get in the way of school, relationship building, and jobs, and family
      • Worries about separation from parents, especially when they go to work or travel

    • Unrealistic Worries

      • Worries about the world ending
      • Worries about health
      • Worries about burglars
      • Worries about storms
      • Worries about monsters
      • Worries about something bad happening without reason
      • Worries about natural disasters
      • Worries about death and separation

  • Comupulsions

    • Counting
    • Rituals
    • Praying
    • Tapping
    • Washing hands
    • Reassurance seeking “am I pretty?” “am I ok?”  “do you love me?” and no matter how much reassurance you give it’s not enough

    • Procrastination

      • Work load increases to unmanageable quantities
      • Perfectionistic tendencies
      • Overwhelming feelings
      • Crying when deadlines approach
      • Avoidance of work
      • Depression

    • Sadness

      • Cutting behaviors
      • Crying often without reason
      • Low self-esteem
      • Says no one likes them
      • Difficulty connecting to others
      • Over analyzing
      • Suicidal thoughts “I would be better off dead” “ no one loves me” “would anyone even go to my funeral”

Many of these symptoms occur at some point in a teenager’s and a child’s life, but if the symptoms occur more often than others their age, you may want to consider further assessment.

If you would like to receive parent guidance to help your child, parent guidance counseling should include personalized behavioral strategies that work with your family and that are realistic and feasible. Parents and families differ in regards to their cultural preferences, values and belief systems. It is also important that the therapist understand psychodynamic principals and parents’ background, as well as modeling principals.  The therapist should understand and know how to elicit the complicated thought patterns, triggers and feelings that elicit these behaviors in your child. It is also very important that exposure therapy for avoidance behaviors is used by a trained therapist in exposure-response prevention therapy to gain more success in overall functioning.